It’s not uncommon to think at times that the people with whom you spend the majority of your waking hours might be a little eccentric. I believe Volano may have an above average number of employees with sociopathic tendencies and I obviously mean that in the most affectionate way. I can see how one might take that statement out of context. This is a video recording of one of our applicants who was hired that day.
The Crazies Sitting Next to Me
We have employed people who, among other things, created wildly imaginative, phallic sticky-note art (and maintained the collection in a plastic Ghostbusters lunchbox). Another keeps a side view mirror attached to his monitor, presumably to prevent having to continually crook his neck when people congregate and walk behind his desk. This is his explanation. He has no explanation then for the completely unnecessary desk turning signal. Another developer runs half-marathons, a clear sign of psychosis. Three of us have had or are about to have babies. What kind of sick person willfully submits to that life station? And last week, as Sonos blared the faux lounge act Richard Cheese and Lounge Against the Machine (check them out post-haste) doing tight, lounge versions of iconic and profane classic pop songs, they laughed and carried on like middle school kids do when the substitute shows up.
I finally decided to educate myself on identifying the characteristics of a psychopath. In the interest of science, I Wikipedia’d (this is now a verb, feel free to use accordingly) the Rorschach Inkblot test and decided to administer it to our staff. For those of you who did not take Pysch 101 in college, this test was created by Swiss psychologist Hermann Rorschach and used to detect underlying thought disorders. The psychologist would analyze the perceptions of her patients when exposed to the inkblot images to gain insight on personality characteristics and emotional functioning. Satisfied with the rigorous guidelines of my study, I e-mailed the picture in this blog out to our staff and asked them to send me the first thought that came to mind. Answers varied but confirmed my suspicions…
- Kevin – “I see poodles being shot out of a cannon.”
- Colleen – “I see a tarantula….. oh God what does that mean? I also saw a bearded man.”
- Erin – “I see a set of lungs.”
- Rob – “I see a hockey mask.”
- David – “I see an x-ray of a pelvic girdle, or if you look at the negative space, two demons laughing as they rip a man’s arms off. I’m not gonna look at the negative space anymore, it’s too scary.”
- Kelly – “Definitely a rotund pizza-maker tossing dough over his head. He is making a pizza for the bones of Jimmy Hoffa, buried under his porch. Wait, ask me again what I think after lunch.”
- John – “I see a lobster (upside-down)”
- Don – “I saw a monkey’s face.”
- Jeremy H. – “I see two of Sloth from Goonies, facing each other, having a thumb war.”
- Shane – “I see the Chiquita banana lady with her hand up in the air.”
- Rod – “I see a buffalo’s face”
- Dave – I see Crow T. Robot from Mystery Science Theater 3000
- Gwen – A member of the Maasai tribe with a basket on his/her head.
As you can see, we have some disturbed employees. We do maintain a high level of professionalism, we just do it through a different set of eyes. Feel free to submit your interpretation of this image as well.